2002-06-26

Three weeks of no blogging. Three weeks of barely even reading a blog. Three weeks of being distracted by real life. Three weeks of dancing through the dahlias, as Mike so eloquently puts it. I probably deserve to be shot or severely maimed or something.

Something wonderful has happened. Something that I had resigned myself to believing would never happen again. At least, not to me. It came out of nowhere, so suddenly that I am still a little bit in shock. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I have the words to express how I feel at the moment. How I have felt for the last few weeks. It's been a complete rollercoaster ride of emotion, from the dizzy heights of complete euphoria to the dark depths of utter paranoia.

What's going on? Something wonderful, of course. Or rather someone wonderful. Someone who goes by the name of Gregory, is tall and skinny and is the most wonderful beautiful human being. Physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever. I could write volumes praising the curve of his lips when he smiles or the shape of his hands or the depth of his honesty and compassion. I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something about Greg that just makes me dissolve into a soppy mess whenever I see him or even think about him.

I love him. Body and soul. I love being with him. I love the anticipation of seeing him again. I love falling asleep beside him. I love waking up with him. I love talking with him. I love being quiet with him. I love his touch. I love the sound of his voice. I love the colour of his eyes. I love the way the smells. I love the taste of his skin. I love his intensity. I love his passion. I love his sense of humour. I love his openness. I love his directness. I love his eccentricity.

I could go on, of course, but I think that's just about enough. Mike was saying a little while ago that he thinks about sex when he's blogging. Trust me, you do not want to know what I'm thinking right now :) Damn. Probably time for a cold shower. Again.

The effects of being in love have been a little odd, to say the least. Alka tells me I've been wandering around the house with a silly grin on my face ever since I met Greg. I've been planting lots and lots of flowers in the garden. And, most weirdly, I've been waking up with songs playing in my head. This morning it was Louis Armstrong singing La vie en rose. A couple of days ago it was the Eurythmics' Right by my side. There's even been, to my absolute horror, some boy band singing some disgustingly saccharine love song. I have no idea where my brain got that.

I've also not being blogging much. Or even at all. Partly that's due to my getting a new computer, which arrived, much to my surprise, as a couple of boxes full of components. I spent some time putting it all together, only to realise that I had forgotten to order a couple of essential bits. It took a while to get it all organised, distracted as I have been. But it's alive and well now, finally.

In a desperate bid to get me to blog again, Alka has challenged me to a blogswop. My love story for her poetry, which she has been very reluctant to post (or even let me read, in the privacy of our own home). So here I am, heart flopping wetly on my sleeve. Now for the response.

BTW, there are a couple of new South African bloggers out there. Admittedly, they aren't in South Africa at the moment, but who cares. Philippa and Rex are busy blogging their great adventure into Darkest Europe. I've known them for years and they're two of my favourite people in the world. Hamba kahle.

2002-06-06

Cold, cold, freezing cold. It's been so cold this last week and a bit. I would have preferred not to believe it possible. While I was in the US, I waxed lyrical about how warm the winters here are. Well, I've been proved wrong, yet again. There have been days and nights that could easily be mistaken for a Midwest spring. :) One of the reasons I haven't been writing much is that I have been much too cold to sit at the computer. Curled up in front of a fire or under the covers is where I've been for most of the last week.

Work is finally going well. I have managed to bludgeon Java and COBOL into some semblance of integration. This could only be done with the help of a few lines of C code to help mediate between the two. I've spent most of the last week writing C wrappers for everything in sight, rediscovering the joy of pointers. Spending the last couple of years writing nothing but Java has been a bit of a double-edged blade. I had completely stopped worrying about the horrors of uninitialised pointers and having to free allocated memory. On the other hand, it is so useful to be able to do pointer arithmetic that I may be able to forgive everything.

And now for the really important stuff, which is the real reason I've been avoiding writing. I've just been too prone to mindless euphoria. I think I'm falling in love. Wonder of wonders. It's been years since I felt like this about anyone. I had thought that I was never going to experience such utter joy and complete terror again. But there I was, my tongue in knots, my mind whirling with idiot fears and still managing to be at least halfway interesting. Our meeting was a complete surprise, carefully orchestrated by a mutual friend and it worked very well. I think the intensity of my reaction has surprised everyone, most of all me. It's early days yet - one date so far and another planned for tomorrow - but I can feel myself teetering on the edge. By the weekend I suspect I will have taken the plunge.